Pay it forward

I recently received an unexpected card in the mail from a dear friend. She didn't send it for any other reason than to let me know she was sorry we didn't get a chance to see each other the last time I was in town and to let me know how much she missed me. Let me just tell you that I don't often get above and beyond types of things done for me so when I do I tend to treasure them more than I can ever let people know. This simple gesture made me smile and of course cry so much that I decided to "pay it forward" and sent cards to a few of my friends just to let them know how special they were to me and to thank them just for being them.

I don't know if it has something to do with my rapidly approaching the age of 30 or if with age comes wisdom but it has suddenly become crystal clear to me just how important friendships are. I will be the first to say that I haven't always been the best friend I could be but i have always been there when my friends needed me most and I feel I am now at a place in my life where I can be the best friend possible. It seems that as another year goes by I have really discovered the meaning of true friendship. Anyone can say they have friends but true friendships are something that are truly hard to find and with time can often be hard to hold on to.

I have one friend in particular, she has been my friend since the 7th grade and we have had some of the most amazing times together and also some not so amazing times together but through it all we have always stuck together and somehow the changing tides always seems to bring us back to what is most important. We have went months without talking, picked up the phone, and pick up right where we left off. She has always got me and has always appreciated the simple kind gestures I send her way from time to time. I also have friends who have went out of their way for me and who I talk to regularly who are just as special. I have always been very choosey where my friends are concerned because I care so much for the relationships in my life. Each friend has something special, one of a kind and unique about them, and I treasure each one of them just as much as the next.

However with every good friendship/relationship in life there are bound to be a few bad ones. I read once and have heard multiple people say that "friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" and I am beginning to think that couLdn't be more true. I have been thinking a lot here lately about a select few people in my life and some of them are starting to look more like seasons. You can only expect from someone what you yourself are willing and capable of giving. And a person should never be expected to apologize more than once. I have always been an overly forgiving person and have always said all a person can do is apologize and you can either except it or move on. I am starting to think that where some friendships are concerned I have been overly forgiving and have become more of a friend of convenience or part of a one sided friendship. I often feel that going above and beyond for these friendships isn't worth it because the thoughtfulness I gift is never reciprocated. I can't continue to make special time for people who never make time to come visit me. I can't continue to help out people who only call me to complain or are in need of a favor rather than just calling to go hang out.

As time goes on we all get busy with our own lives. Children, husbands, family and work often become our main focus; that is just part of growing up. But friendships are the chicken noodle soups to our souls and we have to remind ourselves to find time to catch up with an old friend, make time to see how they are doing or even just pay it forward.