Pay it forward

I recently received an unexpected card in the mail from a dear friend. She didn't send it for any other reason than to let me know she was sorry we didn't get a chance to see each other the last time I was in town and to let me know how much she missed me. Let me just tell you that I don't often get above and beyond types of things done for me so when I do I tend to treasure them more than I can ever let people know. This simple gesture made me smile and of course cry so much that I decided to "pay it forward" and sent cards to a few of my friends just to let them know how special they were to me and to thank them just for being them.

I don't know if it has something to do with my rapidly approaching the age of 30 or if with age comes wisdom but it has suddenly become crystal clear to me just how important friendships are. I will be the first to say that I haven't always been the best friend I could be but i have always been there when my friends needed me most and I feel I am now at a place in my life where I can be the best friend possible. It seems that as another year goes by I have really discovered the meaning of true friendship. Anyone can say they have friends but true friendships are something that are truly hard to find and with time can often be hard to hold on to.

I have one friend in particular, she has been my friend since the 7th grade and we have had some of the most amazing times together and also some not so amazing times together but through it all we have always stuck together and somehow the changing tides always seems to bring us back to what is most important. We have went months without talking, picked up the phone, and pick up right where we left off. She has always got me and has always appreciated the simple kind gestures I send her way from time to time. I also have friends who have went out of their way for me and who I talk to regularly who are just as special. I have always been very choosey where my friends are concerned because I care so much for the relationships in my life. Each friend has something special, one of a kind and unique about them, and I treasure each one of them just as much as the next.

However with every good friendship/relationship in life there are bound to be a few bad ones. I read once and have heard multiple people say that "friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" and I am beginning to think that couLdn't be more true. I have been thinking a lot here lately about a select few people in my life and some of them are starting to look more like seasons. You can only expect from someone what you yourself are willing and capable of giving. And a person should never be expected to apologize more than once. I have always been an overly forgiving person and have always said all a person can do is apologize and you can either except it or move on. I am starting to think that where some friendships are concerned I have been overly forgiving and have become more of a friend of convenience or part of a one sided friendship. I often feel that going above and beyond for these friendships isn't worth it because the thoughtfulness I gift is never reciprocated. I can't continue to make special time for people who never make time to come visit me. I can't continue to help out people who only call me to complain or are in need of a favor rather than just calling to go hang out.

As time goes on we all get busy with our own lives. Children, husbands, family and work often become our main focus; that is just part of growing up. But friendships are the chicken noodle soups to our souls and we have to remind ourselves to find time to catch up with an old friend, make time to see how they are doing or even just pay it forward.

Fakebook

The all consuming Facebook. Let me be the first to say that I am in fact a Facebook user and that as of yet I have no intentions of ever not having a Facebook account. I do however have to say that facebook is definitely the drug of this day and age. Yes drug, as in heroine or cocaine.

When if first got my account a few years ago I was on it 24/7 but I was a "closet facebook addict" I found myself always checking to see who was doing what. I mean really how important is it to know that Billie sue went and bought potatoes at the grocery store and tammie Jo changed five poopy diapers before 12:00? But somehow I found myself being sucked into the facebook vortex. I always wanted to know what exciting things people were up to and again I question my definition of exciting. But in time I was in fact able to ween myself off facebook and now find myself going days or weeks without checking it. I know every facebook user secretly relates to my previous addiction however most will never admit it. They will continue stalking out pages behind the privacy of their own computer or cellular device.

A friend recently brought to my attention that I had almost 300 friends on facebook which surprised even me since I only talk to about 12 people on there? Again I was puzzled. So as I found myself deleting my "facebook friends" I suddenly realized that some of these people who friend requested me have never even messaged me to say hello? Here in lies my nickname fake book friends. I mean really half the people only requested me as a friend to be nosey and see what I looked like now and if I was married with kids and if I was successful. I only have so much insight into this particular situation because I will be honest I too have friended people in the past for that same reason.

I feel like a lot of people on facebook always seem to have the most perfect lives and perfect jobs and husband and children. And I found myself comparing my life to these "perfect people" and suddenly not appreciating what I have and wishing for the things I don't. Really? I mean some days my husband simply rolls over in the morning and I am annoyed with him. Somedays I really don't like my job and even though I don't have kids yet I'm pretty sure I have already grounded them for something they will do in the future. That's reality. It's called real life. Just once I would like to read "damn today sucked" instead of "best day ever :)". Of course I'm not saying my life isn't good but I'm saying that fake book people don't really have it as perfect as they make it seem.

I could probably go on about this subject for days but I have to finish up this blog so I can check the latest newsfeed on facebook lol.