He's just not that into you

Let me first say if you have not read this book it is an absolute must read. I came across this book the other night as I was dusting my bookcase and it really struck a chord...and so...I blog.

I would be lying if I said I didn't think about past life experiences, past relationships, the good, the bad, and the "did I really do that" moments. Now don't go reading to far into this, as I am happily married and thank god everyday for my husband especially since I know he is the only man who could possibly put up with me 24/7. I do however feel that it is only natural to have those flash back moments to the past. And if u can honestly say that you haven't had those thoughts then your should stop reading this blog now.

I waited until I was almost 30 to get married and I don't know that I would have done that any differently. I also don't think there are that many relationships from my past that I would have changed because they helped shape me into who I am today and the partner I am today as well. However, looking back I wish I would have had the above mentioned book at hand because it probably would have helped me realize that some of those relationships weren't worth my time. I can remember reading page one and realizing that my on again off again boyfriend of over two years was "just not that Into me". Page one? Yeah barely broke the page in before I came to that realization. I also remember a few chapters in realizing that I should have ditched some of the jerks and actually given the nice guys more of a chance. I would have realized that the boy who gave me the squirrel tail as a joke but followed up with the flower really did love me and the boy who was always overseas and never found time to write me only everyone else or who pretended not to be home when I made him a firefighter build-a-bear Was just never really that into me. But when your young you don't really want the good guys you only want the guys who never give you the time of day and who you have to really work at. And I also realize that things always happen for a reason and that if it was meant to be it would have been. Of course I end up marrying a good guy so it all worked out for me. And I am so lucky to have found someone to share my life with.

I often wonder about if I have a girl someday, will she be crying on her pillow, almost inconsolable because she is in LOVE and she can't imagine life without him? Oh lord probably so! I just hope that she is a strong enough girl/woman to realize that eventually most of us really do find true love and that yes it seems like the end of the world but there really are so many fish in the sea and he is just a small guppy. I just hope that I can raise a strong young woman or a kind young man.

Thanks to snow white and cinderella women tend to have these unrealistic views on love and think that life is all about the prince and happily ever after. Again these are just ideas and stories but we hear them all our lives so how are we supposed to have anything besides a clouded idea of what true happiness is supposed to be? How are ordinary men supposed to live up to this prince charming stereotype? I will be the first to admit that I often find myself thinking that I should have this perfect life where my husband kisses me bye every morning and has dinner waiting at home for me every night and flowers and romance 24/7. I am now sensible enough to know that this is not reality, but I still expect it, I still hope for it, and most of the time that is the case and sometimes we argue but that is life. It's not all a bed of roses, it's more like a rose bush. Something you have to work at and prune and water. It's work and it's not always pretty but it's worth the work because of the end result. A not so perfect but pretty damn close to it, happily ever after.

I have friends who fear they will never find "the one", friends who are divorced, friends who are starting over, friends who are married, friends who are single. But every relationship is a learning experience and while they might not be ideal, they might be all you ever hoped for, might be scary and new, they are what you make of them. If you want to set your expectations high, then I say the sky if the limit. If you are starting over, then think of this as a new beginning and your version of a fairytale. Every life is a story it's how you choose to write it that really matters.