FEAR...we all have something that terrifies us and shakes us to our absolute core. For me, well that fear would be a small red-headed doll straight out of hell. Maybe you have heard of him? Does Chucky ring a bell? I don't know what it is about that damn doll, but he just scares me to death. Dolls that kill...it just doesn't seem right to me. This childhood fear has unfortunately followed me into adulthood. My fear was only reinforced in October of my sophomore year of high school when my friend Cody and I went to the haunted houses and I was chased down with a chainsaw by a life-size chucky. For me...permanent mental scar...for Cody...the realization that I shoved him down and left him for bait in order to escape. Who do I find partially responsible for this you ask? Well my parents of course. Does it seem natural to you that to this day, my parents will hide a chucky doll they have in cabinets at their house so when poor unsuspecting me goes to get a dinner plate the little nasty doll is sitting there. Or how about when they email and randomly text me pictures of chucky with a little knife taped to his hand about to stab my dad? No I'd say that is definitely not natural. As A child I can remember needing to see this dolls precise location in the closet prior to tucking myself in bed and waking up to check and make sure he was still located in the same position...smashed under anything I could find to hinder his movements while I slept.
I of course know the difference between reality and a movie...but sometimes the lines get blurred. Tell me that the following have never happened to you:
You are getting ready for bed you turn off the bathroom light start heading for your Bedroom and suddenly you find yourself running because you feel like someone is behind you?
You want to hang your foot off the edge of your bed but don't because you are afraid someone will grab it?
You run and jump to get into bed because you don't want something to grab your feet?
You want to pretend that your closet door being slightly cracked open doesn't bother you but you go close it all the way just to make sure someone isn't peeking at you?
You have to look behind the shower curtain just to make sure no one is there?
I definitely think that I have watched way too many scary movies in my day, but for some reason I can't get enough of them. I love to hate being scared. So i'll just keep my feet under the covers and the shower curtain pulled.
Monday, August 15, 2011
I'll Be Missin You
AUGUST 2009...this day will forever be etched in my heart and in my mind. For those of you who didn't know Jared he was an amazing person, words can't even do justice to what an amazing friend he was to me and his friendship is one that I miss more often than I can count. When you lose a true friend it is something that leaves a mark on your heart forever...with time the cut becomes more of a scar but it's a scar that never goes away.
Jared was an amazing friend. Let me start out by saying that when we were in high school he always said I was a "goody goody" and I always said he was "looking for trouble". We hung out in high school but ran with different "cliques" so we lead very different life styles but always remained friends. Over the years we lost touch here and there but always managed to re-connect via telephone from time to time. In the year leading up to his death we talked periodically on the phone and he gave me the best relationship advice ever. He once asked me, "Jenn when are you going to get married already?" to which I responded "no rush who knows when" he quickly called out BS and said "Get married. If you love him then there is no reason to not get married." Jared always had the best advice and always knew how to make me laugh. We often talked about his girlfriend Stephanie and how much he loved her. He once said that after an argument they had, his fault, that he needed to send her 4 dozen roses because 1 wasn't enough for someone as amazing as her.
The last time I saw Jared was at the gas station just up the road from my mom and dads house. (the year escapes me now unfortunately but I couldn't have been over 18 or 20) I was in a hurry to go floating with my jerky boyfriend at the time and as I came out from paying for gas there Jared was. I remember being so excited to see him cause it had been forever and I gave him a big hug but we didn't talk long. I wish I would have slowed down, looking back now, and visited with him a little longer. The last time I talked to Jared on the phone was a month or two before he passed away. He had called me upset about the recent death of his girlfriends cousin. He was missing her cousin and wanted some insight on how to be there for steph during such a difficult time. We talked for about 45 minutes and then I had to go do something with my sister. We ended the call with my saying I would give him a call later and to hang in there. He sent me a few water fight requests on facebook lol and a few Facebook pokes but I never got back to returning his call. Jared passed away august of 2009. When a mutual friend of ours called me in the early morning hours to tell me, I was in complete disbelief. It took me hours to finally accept that it was true. I remember crying in my pillow for hours after realizing it was.
I was going through some old facebook messages he sent me tonight and He was always telling me, miss batten when u message me back write me a novel of what's going on with you lol. I never wrote him a novel but a few paragraphs I always managed to scrounge up seemed to keep him entertained. Up until a few months ago I still had the last water gun fight he sent me showing on my facebook account and when it was accidentally deleted I cried. I know it seems silly but it was just a reminder of what a fun friend he was.
After he died I messaged his girlfriend steph, we have yet to talk on the phone but we have emailed a few times. I think of her often as well because Jared was her future and she was his and it is such a shame that they were both cheated out of an amazing life together. I think of Jared often and I hope he is always a friend that stays close to my heart no matter how much time passes. He was an amazing person and the world lost an amazing man way too early. Thank you Jared for the amazing friendship you gave me, I will treasure it always and I expect you to be waiting at those pearly gates for me when my day one day comes.
Love always, miss batten
Jared was an amazing friend. Let me start out by saying that when we were in high school he always said I was a "goody goody" and I always said he was "looking for trouble". We hung out in high school but ran with different "cliques" so we lead very different life styles but always remained friends. Over the years we lost touch here and there but always managed to re-connect via telephone from time to time. In the year leading up to his death we talked periodically on the phone and he gave me the best relationship advice ever. He once asked me, "Jenn when are you going to get married already?" to which I responded "no rush who knows when" he quickly called out BS and said "Get married. If you love him then there is no reason to not get married." Jared always had the best advice and always knew how to make me laugh. We often talked about his girlfriend Stephanie and how much he loved her. He once said that after an argument they had, his fault, that he needed to send her 4 dozen roses because 1 wasn't enough for someone as amazing as her.
The last time I saw Jared was at the gas station just up the road from my mom and dads house. (the year escapes me now unfortunately but I couldn't have been over 18 or 20) I was in a hurry to go floating with my jerky boyfriend at the time and as I came out from paying for gas there Jared was. I remember being so excited to see him cause it had been forever and I gave him a big hug but we didn't talk long. I wish I would have slowed down, looking back now, and visited with him a little longer. The last time I talked to Jared on the phone was a month or two before he passed away. He had called me upset about the recent death of his girlfriends cousin. He was missing her cousin and wanted some insight on how to be there for steph during such a difficult time. We talked for about 45 minutes and then I had to go do something with my sister. We ended the call with my saying I would give him a call later and to hang in there. He sent me a few water fight requests on facebook lol and a few Facebook pokes but I never got back to returning his call. Jared passed away august of 2009. When a mutual friend of ours called me in the early morning hours to tell me, I was in complete disbelief. It took me hours to finally accept that it was true. I remember crying in my pillow for hours after realizing it was.
I was going through some old facebook messages he sent me tonight and He was always telling me, miss batten when u message me back write me a novel of what's going on with you lol. I never wrote him a novel but a few paragraphs I always managed to scrounge up seemed to keep him entertained. Up until a few months ago I still had the last water gun fight he sent me showing on my facebook account and when it was accidentally deleted I cried. I know it seems silly but it was just a reminder of what a fun friend he was.
After he died I messaged his girlfriend steph, we have yet to talk on the phone but we have emailed a few times. I think of her often as well because Jared was her future and she was his and it is such a shame that they were both cheated out of an amazing life together. I think of Jared often and I hope he is always a friend that stays close to my heart no matter how much time passes. He was an amazing person and the world lost an amazing man way too early. Thank you Jared for the amazing friendship you gave me, I will treasure it always and I expect you to be waiting at those pearly gates for me when my day one day comes.
Love always, miss batten
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