Let me first say if you have not read this book it is an absolute must read. I came across this book the other night as I was dusting my bookcase and it really struck a chord...and so...I blog.
I would be lying if I said I didn't think about past life experiences, past relationships, the good, the bad, and the "did I really do that" moments. Now don't go reading to far into this, as I am happily married and thank god everyday for my husband especially since I know he is the only man who could possibly put up with me 24/7. I do however feel that it is only natural to have those flash back moments to the past. And if u can honestly say that you haven't had those thoughts then your should stop reading this blog now.
I waited until I was almost 30 to get married and I don't know that I would have done that any differently. I also don't think there are that many relationships from my past that I would have changed because they helped shape me into who I am today and the partner I am today as well. However, looking back I wish I would have had the above mentioned book at hand because it probably would have helped me realize that some of those relationships weren't worth my time. I can remember reading page one and realizing that my on again off again boyfriend of over two years was "just not that Into me". Page one? Yeah barely broke the page in before I came to that realization. I also remember a few chapters in realizing that I should have ditched some of the jerks and actually given the nice guys more of a chance. I would have realized that the boy who gave me the squirrel tail as a joke but followed up with the flower really did love me and the boy who was always overseas and never found time to write me only everyone else or who pretended not to be home when I made him a firefighter build-a-bear Was just never really that into me. But when your young you don't really want the good guys you only want the guys who never give you the time of day and who you have to really work at. And I also realize that things always happen for a reason and that if it was meant to be it would have been. Of course I end up marrying a good guy so it all worked out for me. And I am so lucky to have found someone to share my life with.
I often wonder about if I have a girl someday, will she be crying on her pillow, almost inconsolable because she is in LOVE and she can't imagine life without him? Oh lord probably so! I just hope that she is a strong enough girl/woman to realize that eventually most of us really do find true love and that yes it seems like the end of the world but there really are so many fish in the sea and he is just a small guppy. I just hope that I can raise a strong young woman or a kind young man.
Thanks to snow white and cinderella women tend to have these unrealistic views on love and think that life is all about the prince and happily ever after. Again these are just ideas and stories but we hear them all our lives so how are we supposed to have anything besides a clouded idea of what true happiness is supposed to be? How are ordinary men supposed to live up to this prince charming stereotype? I will be the first to admit that I often find myself thinking that I should have this perfect life where my husband kisses me bye every morning and has dinner waiting at home for me every night and flowers and romance 24/7. I am now sensible enough to know that this is not reality, but I still expect it, I still hope for it, and most of the time that is the case and sometimes we argue but that is life. It's not all a bed of roses, it's more like a rose bush. Something you have to work at and prune and water. It's work and it's not always pretty but it's worth the work because of the end result. A not so perfect but pretty damn close to it, happily ever after.
I have friends who fear they will never find "the one", friends who are divorced, friends who are starting over, friends who are married, friends who are single. But every relationship is a learning experience and while they might not be ideal, they might be all you ever hoped for, might be scary and new, they are what you make of them. If you want to set your expectations high, then I say the sky if the limit. If you are starting over, then think of this as a new beginning and your version of a fairytale. Every life is a story it's how you choose to write it that really matters.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Bad hair day sprinkled with a delivery
Inspiration and kindness are often found in the most unexpected places...and so I blog.
At my job I take care of getting nursing home and assisted living patients medicines ready. It is a very long and tedious process but the upside for me has become when I get to actually take these medicines to a few of these places. I also take medicine to peoples homes who are unable to get to the pharmacy to pick up their medicine.
Mind you, this is not always a positive thing but in more cases than not it is. I mean I have seen people in their underwear, people who could have passed for a yeti, felt like I was in a secret episode of hoarders and a petrified cat could be in the corner, had a man fart in front of me...I could go on but you get the picture. And don't get me wrong farts are funny. I don't care who you are, they are funny, but in this particular instance it wasn't so funny coming from a man in his tighty whiteys, beer gut hanging out, toenails that were as long as fingernails, sitting in a recliner, wooley mammoth resembling body hair letting out a sound barrier breaking fart. Yeah...not so funny. Okay I'll be honest when I got back to the car I laughed so hard I thought I wouldn't stop. But that's a whole nother story.
A few weeks ago I was kind of having a bad morning. It was one of those hate my job, sprinkled with a dash of bad hair day and wish I could trade faces with someone type of mornings. So I go to this assisted living facility where there are juveniles, some really with it, and some not so much. I walk in the door and a girl a little younger than me walks up to me and gives me a great big hug. She asks me how my day is going and tells me how pretty I look. I can't help but smile and we banter back and forth for a few mintues before I have to leave. Afterward it hits me like a ton of bricks just how good I do have it. These young people will never have the freedom I do, get to experience a lot of the things I do, and yet they always greet me with a smile like they couldn't be any happier if they tried. But this girl who probably thought nothing more of the incident really made my day with nothing more than kind words and a smile. It cost absolutely nothing, completely free and yet it was worth everything to me in that moment.
At my job I take care of getting nursing home and assisted living patients medicines ready. It is a very long and tedious process but the upside for me has become when I get to actually take these medicines to a few of these places. I also take medicine to peoples homes who are unable to get to the pharmacy to pick up their medicine.
Mind you, this is not always a positive thing but in more cases than not it is. I mean I have seen people in their underwear, people who could have passed for a yeti, felt like I was in a secret episode of hoarders and a petrified cat could be in the corner, had a man fart in front of me...I could go on but you get the picture. And don't get me wrong farts are funny. I don't care who you are, they are funny, but in this particular instance it wasn't so funny coming from a man in his tighty whiteys, beer gut hanging out, toenails that were as long as fingernails, sitting in a recliner, wooley mammoth resembling body hair letting out a sound barrier breaking fart. Yeah...not so funny. Okay I'll be honest when I got back to the car I laughed so hard I thought I wouldn't stop. But that's a whole nother story.
A few weeks ago I was kind of having a bad morning. It was one of those hate my job, sprinkled with a dash of bad hair day and wish I could trade faces with someone type of mornings. So I go to this assisted living facility where there are juveniles, some really with it, and some not so much. I walk in the door and a girl a little younger than me walks up to me and gives me a great big hug. She asks me how my day is going and tells me how pretty I look. I can't help but smile and we banter back and forth for a few mintues before I have to leave. Afterward it hits me like a ton of bricks just how good I do have it. These young people will never have the freedom I do, get to experience a lot of the things I do, and yet they always greet me with a smile like they couldn't be any happier if they tried. But this girl who probably thought nothing more of the incident really made my day with nothing more than kind words and a smile. It cost absolutely nothing, completely free and yet it was worth everything to me in that moment.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Pay it forward
I recently received an unexpected card in the mail from a dear friend. She didn't send it for any other reason than to let me know she was sorry we didn't get a chance to see each other the last time I was in town and to let me know how much she missed me. Let me just tell you that I don't often get above and beyond types of things done for me so when I do I tend to treasure them more than I can ever let people know. This simple gesture made me smile and of course cry so much that I decided to "pay it forward" and sent cards to a few of my friends just to let them know how special they were to me and to thank them just for being them.
I don't know if it has something to do with my rapidly approaching the age of 30 or if with age comes wisdom but it has suddenly become crystal clear to me just how important friendships are. I will be the first to say that I haven't always been the best friend I could be but i have always been there when my friends needed me most and I feel I am now at a place in my life where I can be the best friend possible. It seems that as another year goes by I have really discovered the meaning of true friendship. Anyone can say they have friends but true friendships are something that are truly hard to find and with time can often be hard to hold on to.
I have one friend in particular, she has been my friend since the 7th grade and we have had some of the most amazing times together and also some not so amazing times together but through it all we have always stuck together and somehow the changing tides always seems to bring us back to what is most important. We have went months without talking, picked up the phone, and pick up right where we left off. She has always got me and has always appreciated the simple kind gestures I send her way from time to time. I also have friends who have went out of their way for me and who I talk to regularly who are just as special. I have always been very choosey where my friends are concerned because I care so much for the relationships in my life. Each friend has something special, one of a kind and unique about them, and I treasure each one of them just as much as the next.
However with every good friendship/relationship in life there are bound to be a few bad ones. I read once and have heard multiple people say that "friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" and I am beginning to think that couLdn't be more true. I have been thinking a lot here lately about a select few people in my life and some of them are starting to look more like seasons. You can only expect from someone what you yourself are willing and capable of giving. And a person should never be expected to apologize more than once. I have always been an overly forgiving person and have always said all a person can do is apologize and you can either except it or move on. I am starting to think that where some friendships are concerned I have been overly forgiving and have become more of a friend of convenience or part of a one sided friendship. I often feel that going above and beyond for these friendships isn't worth it because the thoughtfulness I gift is never reciprocated. I can't continue to make special time for people who never make time to come visit me. I can't continue to help out people who only call me to complain or are in need of a favor rather than just calling to go hang out.
As time goes on we all get busy with our own lives. Children, husbands, family and work often become our main focus; that is just part of growing up. But friendships are the chicken noodle soups to our souls and we have to remind ourselves to find time to catch up with an old friend, make time to see how they are doing or even just pay it forward.
I don't know if it has something to do with my rapidly approaching the age of 30 or if with age comes wisdom but it has suddenly become crystal clear to me just how important friendships are. I will be the first to say that I haven't always been the best friend I could be but i have always been there when my friends needed me most and I feel I am now at a place in my life where I can be the best friend possible. It seems that as another year goes by I have really discovered the meaning of true friendship. Anyone can say they have friends but true friendships are something that are truly hard to find and with time can often be hard to hold on to.
I have one friend in particular, she has been my friend since the 7th grade and we have had some of the most amazing times together and also some not so amazing times together but through it all we have always stuck together and somehow the changing tides always seems to bring us back to what is most important. We have went months without talking, picked up the phone, and pick up right where we left off. She has always got me and has always appreciated the simple kind gestures I send her way from time to time. I also have friends who have went out of their way for me and who I talk to regularly who are just as special. I have always been very choosey where my friends are concerned because I care so much for the relationships in my life. Each friend has something special, one of a kind and unique about them, and I treasure each one of them just as much as the next.
However with every good friendship/relationship in life there are bound to be a few bad ones. I read once and have heard multiple people say that "friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" and I am beginning to think that couLdn't be more true. I have been thinking a lot here lately about a select few people in my life and some of them are starting to look more like seasons. You can only expect from someone what you yourself are willing and capable of giving. And a person should never be expected to apologize more than once. I have always been an overly forgiving person and have always said all a person can do is apologize and you can either except it or move on. I am starting to think that where some friendships are concerned I have been overly forgiving and have become more of a friend of convenience or part of a one sided friendship. I often feel that going above and beyond for these friendships isn't worth it because the thoughtfulness I gift is never reciprocated. I can't continue to make special time for people who never make time to come visit me. I can't continue to help out people who only call me to complain or are in need of a favor rather than just calling to go hang out.
As time goes on we all get busy with our own lives. Children, husbands, family and work often become our main focus; that is just part of growing up. But friendships are the chicken noodle soups to our souls and we have to remind ourselves to find time to catch up with an old friend, make time to see how they are doing or even just pay it forward.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Fakebook
The all consuming Facebook. Let me be the first to say that I am in fact a Facebook user and that as of yet I have no intentions of ever not having a Facebook account. I do however have to say that facebook is definitely the drug of this day and age. Yes drug, as in heroine or cocaine.
When if first got my account a few years ago I was on it 24/7 but I was a "closet facebook addict" I found myself always checking to see who was doing what. I mean really how important is it to know that Billie sue went and bought potatoes at the grocery store and tammie Jo changed five poopy diapers before 12:00? But somehow I found myself being sucked into the facebook vortex. I always wanted to know what exciting things people were up to and again I question my definition of exciting. But in time I was in fact able to ween myself off facebook and now find myself going days or weeks without checking it. I know every facebook user secretly relates to my previous addiction however most will never admit it. They will continue stalking out pages behind the privacy of their own computer or cellular device.
A friend recently brought to my attention that I had almost 300 friends on facebook which surprised even me since I only talk to about 12 people on there? Again I was puzzled. So as I found myself deleting my "facebook friends" I suddenly realized that some of these people who friend requested me have never even messaged me to say hello? Here in lies my nickname fake book friends. I mean really half the people only requested me as a friend to be nosey and see what I looked like now and if I was married with kids and if I was successful. I only have so much insight into this particular situation because I will be honest I too have friended people in the past for that same reason.
I feel like a lot of people on facebook always seem to have the most perfect lives and perfect jobs and husband and children. And I found myself comparing my life to these "perfect people" and suddenly not appreciating what I have and wishing for the things I don't. Really? I mean some days my husband simply rolls over in the morning and I am annoyed with him. Somedays I really don't like my job and even though I don't have kids yet I'm pretty sure I have already grounded them for something they will do in the future. That's reality. It's called real life. Just once I would like to read "damn today sucked" instead of "best day ever :)". Of course I'm not saying my life isn't good but I'm saying that fake book people don't really have it as perfect as they make it seem.
I could probably go on about this subject for days but I have to finish up this blog so I can check the latest newsfeed on facebook lol.
When if first got my account a few years ago I was on it 24/7 but I was a "closet facebook addict" I found myself always checking to see who was doing what. I mean really how important is it to know that Billie sue went and bought potatoes at the grocery store and tammie Jo changed five poopy diapers before 12:00? But somehow I found myself being sucked into the facebook vortex. I always wanted to know what exciting things people were up to and again I question my definition of exciting. But in time I was in fact able to ween myself off facebook and now find myself going days or weeks without checking it. I know every facebook user secretly relates to my previous addiction however most will never admit it. They will continue stalking out pages behind the privacy of their own computer or cellular device.
A friend recently brought to my attention that I had almost 300 friends on facebook which surprised even me since I only talk to about 12 people on there? Again I was puzzled. So as I found myself deleting my "facebook friends" I suddenly realized that some of these people who friend requested me have never even messaged me to say hello? Here in lies my nickname fake book friends. I mean really half the people only requested me as a friend to be nosey and see what I looked like now and if I was married with kids and if I was successful. I only have so much insight into this particular situation because I will be honest I too have friended people in the past for that same reason.
I feel like a lot of people on facebook always seem to have the most perfect lives and perfect jobs and husband and children. And I found myself comparing my life to these "perfect people" and suddenly not appreciating what I have and wishing for the things I don't. Really? I mean some days my husband simply rolls over in the morning and I am annoyed with him. Somedays I really don't like my job and even though I don't have kids yet I'm pretty sure I have already grounded them for something they will do in the future. That's reality. It's called real life. Just once I would like to read "damn today sucked" instead of "best day ever :)". Of course I'm not saying my life isn't good but I'm saying that fake book people don't really have it as perfect as they make it seem.
I could probably go on about this subject for days but I have to finish up this blog so I can check the latest newsfeed on facebook lol.
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